So that explains the letter I wrote. I also talked to Angela that day, too - and I guess from a Christian perspective there were a ton of red flags and i admitted to myself that it wasn't quite the best foundation for a relationship.
On Saturday the 5th I wanted to pass it to you, before the new week started, so that there would be a clean break - but you were out and busy again, so I busied myself with making a wool-needled penguin for you. Glad you liked it. You eventually decided to come over in the wee hours of the morning, after some dirty talk that got us kinda...fired up. You drove over, I gave you the penguin, and we ended up at DF.....3+ hours that went by way too fast. you were quite respectful of my boundaries (but what's the preoccupation with head! :\). I secretly wished it didn't have to end. We made our way back at 6.... How did a want to break it off come to this.
You mentioned that the coming Monday would be an extremely hectic one for you, and I didn't have the heart to pass you the letter that day, as originally intended. I had prepared 2 more bottles of cough medication and some medicated plasters for you and your mom, because i figured that you'd run out of medication soon...and I may not be around to help you.
I eventually passed your the headphones mid-week, removing the letter from the bag because I couldn't bear to say goodbye. But I gave it to you just before I left the car - after you asked for it when i hid it away. Did you know how my heart was hurting with a visceral pain?
I eventually passed your the headphones mid-week, removing the letter from the bag because I couldn't bear to say goodbye. But I gave it to you just before I left the car - after you asked for it when i hid it away. Did you know how my heart was hurting with a visceral pain?
怎么才能让我告诉妳 我不愿意
教彼此都在孤独里忍住伤心
I guess both of us couldn't quite bear to leave. You kept putting off reading the letter, as you told me later, coz you kinda knew what was in it. I somehow kept hoping that something would be able to be worked out. Escapism much, DC? I see much shades of myself in you, but I gotta say that I'm more man that you in handling this issue...lol. It was a struggle for me every time you asked me on Sundays - and other days - if I needed a lift/wanted you to come over the next day. Don't get angry with the times I said: up to you, or asked whether you wanted to do so. I wanted you to make a conscious choice and acknowledge it yourself that you wanted to stay with me, instead of being swept along by 'fate' or 'what others/i wanted' - the latter absolves you of responsibility and the courage to choose.
I love the talks we had, walking in anticipation to your car at 7:30am, seeing you 'Morning!' on my phone....the kisses, and the heartfelt talks. You and your silly habit of parking outside Blk 1 to lock lips...with scant regard to all the cars zooming by :O (actually you just couldn't be bothered, right?) Later on we parked behind NHC - way better i must say ;)
I'll forever remember why I suddenly have an SB roar 2 as my computer speakers now (and your cute rave about how awesome bluetooth speakers are).
De-shelling boiled eggs and packing grapes for breakfast will be bittersweet.
I was so touched when you appeared with a water bottle for me - I had lost mine in hospital and had been using a disposable bottle in the interim. You had a cute rave about how it was awesome. Thank you. I didn't know you noticed.
You producing a little container with grapes on the 21st, after I had touched down from Penang late the previous night. I may have mentioned offhand how I had run out of food at home before my trip - I was astonished and really touched that you remembered.
How you had your incurable 職業病 where you would want to hear me say, explicitly, things that could be inferred from actions. So you asked me time and again if I liked the speakers, if I liked the bottle, and if I liked the grapes, and how I felt....at first I was quite bemused, but I grew to like to lovingly answer them, if they would make you smile.
How do I forget those big warm sweaty palms that wrapped reassuringly around mine, while you drove with only your right hand? 'I can handle it,' you proclaimed, and I would tease that I knew, because you went for advanced driving courses, didn't you?
Waking up to your 'sorry, i KOed' after texting late into the night. I know you sleep early and need a lot of sleep...thank you for wanting to text me late into the night and bid me goodnight, with my super-late sleeping habits.
How you were sensitive and understanding, taking time to apologize for a delay.
Your inquisitive mind, how we could understand each other and where each was coming from.
Talking to you on the phone - first time was when you called when I was on call, at 2am on my Thursday 17th dec call. Boy, I was friggin tired...but we just talked and talked for around 2h before I collapsed into bed. We talked again, when I was in Penang...here I was at the hotel lobby, smiling to myself and talking whilst the man utd game played...we talked into the late night. I really did enjoy those hours, y'know?
I'll forever remember why I suddenly have an SB roar 2 as my computer speakers now (and your cute rave about how awesome bluetooth speakers are).
De-shelling boiled eggs and packing grapes for breakfast will be bittersweet.
I was so touched when you appeared with a water bottle for me - I had lost mine in hospital and had been using a disposable bottle in the interim. You had a cute rave about how it was awesome. Thank you. I didn't know you noticed.
You producing a little container with grapes on the 21st, after I had touched down from Penang late the previous night. I may have mentioned offhand how I had run out of food at home before my trip - I was astonished and really touched that you remembered.
How you had your incurable 職業病 where you would want to hear me say, explicitly, things that could be inferred from actions. So you asked me time and again if I liked the speakers, if I liked the bottle, and if I liked the grapes, and how I felt....at first I was quite bemused, but I grew to like to lovingly answer them, if they would make you smile.
How do I forget those big warm sweaty palms that wrapped reassuringly around mine, while you drove with only your right hand? 'I can handle it,' you proclaimed, and I would tease that I knew, because you went for advanced driving courses, didn't you?
Waking up to your 'sorry, i KOed' after texting late into the night. I know you sleep early and need a lot of sleep...thank you for wanting to text me late into the night and bid me goodnight, with my super-late sleeping habits.
How you were sensitive and understanding, taking time to apologize for a delay.
Your inquisitive mind, how we could understand each other and where each was coming from.
Talking to you on the phone - first time was when you called when I was on call, at 2am on my Thursday 17th dec call. Boy, I was friggin tired...but we just talked and talked for around 2h before I collapsed into bed. We talked again, when I was in Penang...here I was at the hotel lobby, smiling to myself and talking whilst the man utd game played...we talked into the late night. I really did enjoy those hours, y'know?
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