R is a friend's gf who will be spending her one and only elective year doing intensive research for.... A specialty she has never seen before. Or worked in before. She just thinks it seems nice.

Granted, most young people don't know what the career path they choose really entails. Choices at a young age of 18 were gambles on gut feelings, hearsay, and dreams. I guess along the way, people either grow to like what they are doing, or they learn to deal with it. Or they move on to other pastures.

Heck, even at 25 I don't know if I want to stay in this job. In other industries it may seem like a young age to decide on a path to Forever, but it's getting late in mine. And the pressure is on us to make up our minds quick.

But how do I know if this is what I want to be? Do I want to do amazing work, recreate damaged limbs, save what was thought to be unsalvageable? Do I want to dedicate my life to feed this, spend one third of my days on call and another third zombified and (still) dragging myself around to work, and yet push myself to do more, do better, continually better myself?

Or do I want to explore all the other things that fill me with awe in this world? Try dancing because I've never felt confident enough to try it? Photograph animals and innocent children? Read books and get lost in their imaginary world? Learn to cook and bring a smile to the faces of others? Learn a new language or two, and try to immerse myself in another culture, another way of life, and be filled with awe? Marry a man whom I love, and open each others' eyes to the beautiful things in life to give thanks for, and be around for each other during the bad times?

But are these just romanticized ideals? Maybe I'm giving up a chance to 'seek excellence' for dreams that don't exist. For a man who won't come.

=========================

Just like how we've been reminded again and again that there is no ideal/perfect spouse,
Perhaps there is no ideal/perfect job for each of us.

Maybe we just have to choose the best one that comes along.

I'm sure many people in the world are not together wi their 'ideal person', but have made do with someone else - perhaps settled for the best one that was around at that point in time.

Cynical? Maybe. But it's definitely conceivable right?

Perhaps that is really what life is.

wives:husbands as assistant:surgeon

Feeling a little down today while contemplating the dearth of someone I can share my dreams with, I flipped to Boundless on my phone and started reading.

There were a few articles that alluded to the role of men and women in marriage. One of the things mentioned was that men were supposed to lead (the relationship, the combined growth in Christ, amongst others), and women were to complement his leadership and help him lead effectively.

Feminism or discussion about 'equal roles' aside, I kind of agree with that. I don't view myself as traditional, nor have I been brought up in an environment where females were seen but not heard, and played largely supplementary roles. If anything, I was brought up to believe that I can do my job and succeed in life as well as any other man. We competed on equal grounds all through life, and now in my career, there are numerous  examples of women doing as well as, and perhaps outshining, their male colleagues.

Perhaps it's the (still) firmly-rooted view among the older practitioners in my job that it's a man's world. Perhaps it's the not-so-secret knowledge that the male practitioners (which til recently, formed the majority in this industry) were viewed as more eligible and attractive compared to the few females who managed to climb their way to the top. It's the old generalization that male drs go for nurses. More so if you were a surgeon.

It suddenly struck me that the job of assisting a surgeon, drew a few parallels to the role a wife played to a husband (at least going by Boundless' advice). 

In my years learning to assist, I was taught that my purpose was to help the surgeon perform his job better and more easily. My younger self in the dental office was excited and eager to work in this world where people used their hands to create wonderful things. I wanted to try my hands at it, and I was confident that I could do something good with my hands. But starting out as an assistant, it was drummed into me to anticipate the surgeon's next move, and to provide for them. Fast forward to today, and being able to experience both roles, I can see the importance of being a good assistant - anticipating and thinking always about how to make the surgeon's life easier, being responsive and attentive, and sensitive to body language. A poor assistant can frustrate, obscure and distract from the goal.

It then seems no surprise that surgeons would be attracted to those who provide for and help them most at work - things nurses are trained for. In contrast, trainees are primed and conditioned towards showing a I-can-do-it attitude - and guys probably don't feel that they have much of a role to play to a self-sufficient, overly confident lady. I guess they like to feel that they can provide for a lady, who shows some vulnerability and some form of receipt in her life. (This is the topic of another Boundless article which calls on women to learn to receive, that is, to play the role of thankful receiver of a guy's care, instead of having the mentality that they can give and give and do everything by themselves).

I may have underrepresented the nuances behind the Boundless articles, and of course the views on the people in my job are generalizations...but it's definitely interesting to realize.