The other one

There was this guy I made myself go out with, in the wake of That One.

First impressions-wise, he seemed slightly nerdy and socially awkward, but spoke well. He was 3-4 years older, and had studied and worked for a short while in the US. Overall he seemed to be quite a workaholic - talking quite a bit about work, but when I talked about hobbies he did seem to have some - though most seemed dated to a couple of years ago/ didn't seem recent. That said, though the first- meeting conversation was a tad stilted, I wasn't put off enough to decline meeting him another time.

The second meeting and subsequently -
He was more relaxed and talked more. While still keen to share about his work, conversation flowed a little more smoothly as he was open to trying new things and shared more about his views and likes.
I was pleasantly surprised when he did most of the planning and arranging - a welcome shift from having to chase people on group chats for availability to meet. Initiative is definitely something I'd like to see in a man, as he is after all supposed to be the leader in a relationship.
He was also eager to show met what he knew and interesting things around - something I thought I saw in myself too.

We met four times in total.

I don't think I ever really liked him - perhaps the raw-ness of The Previous One just made all these little differences between me and this guy seem exceedingly sharp. All I could think of was - sheesh, this guy is so far away in terms of compatibility...

The last time we met, it was for a quick dinner at TB before my cell group. this was a compromise - he initially wanted to watch some event fireworks but I wasn't able to make it, so a quick meal should suffice. So the meal went by rather quickly - and i felt slightly guilty that he had to travel to TB and I was a tad late and so on - so I suggested walking through the old TB estate that he had an interest in. He'd previously talked a lot about the different architectural styles of the residential buildings there - plus point for interesting hobbies - so I suggested that he showed it to me.

So when we walked to the blocks, he introduced the different architectural styles, and was dead set on the details of the interior of the houses....only problem being that he hadn't been inside one yet. While J used to live in one - and I've visited him umpteen times. When I innocently asked if that was indeed true - My questions got pushed away a wave of defensive protests and blind confidence.


It may seem like a small thing, but it realized that it irked me no end:
I have little respect for people who are not willing to listen to alternative viewpoints, and who are more concerned with proving themselves right - or feeling good about themselves - than learning more about the world around them, other people, and themselves.

And at that moment a little switch suddenly clicked in my mind: it wouldn't work out between us - not only because I didn't like him enough, but also because I didn't like the way focus was on proving themselves right. It seemed insecure and lacking in maturity, and not something I wanted to see in the leader of a household.


I think he knew too, as I started replying more quietly.

We didn't meet again.